In the Darkest of Times

These days all I want to do is crawl under my duvet, draw the curtains, pass out for a very long time – and wake up when it’s summer, 30 degrees and there’s a tub of ice cream waiting for me on my bedside table. I feel like I am crushed under the waves of…

Burlesque – and, on dancing

If you ever met my 15-year-old me, you’d never imagine she’d perform burlesque 10 years later to an adoring audience. She was awkward, prohibitively shy and a complete drama queen. And while I’m still enjoying those parts of my teenage self even 10 years later, their intensity has definitely dropped. I have always been the…

Denial

My friends and I live in the comfortable denial of adulthood. This corner of ourselves that feels life is here and now.   We pay rent, we spend the rest on big burgers and big drinks we buy books and we go to the cinema and we live vicariously through others – our favourite fictional…

For all the times I wanted to run away but I didn’t

On the stage. Terrified. Mind going blank, tears welling up. Yet the smile stays on. And with every magic step out of the comfort zone the heartbeat returns to normal. The shiver ceases. The music starts and here I am. I am shining so bright, I could light up a city.   Out of the…

Fears

I’ve challenged myself in so many ways over the years, especially since my tormented school years came to an end and I could finally dedicate myself to the things and the people I am truly interested in. I’ve studied hard to get good grades, taken part in a university play, immersed myself in the happy/sad…

Vulnerable

I woke up today only to feel more vulnerable than yesterday.   An open wound formed on my soul overnight my heart got filled with a poison it’s overflowing spilling over my vital organs.   I long to feel empowered, wanted, loved and no love seems good enough. I feel like I’m an unreachable island,…

My room

My room is not the suffocating space you imagine it to be. Not a box, with four walls caving into my mind. It is my small world, a universe on its own. My memories and pieces of past, present & future lie there. My refuge   my refuge when I want to escape a bad…

My heart is not a playground

My heart is not a playground. I decided, and proceeded to burn it to the ground.   I’d rather feel the lick of the fire than the pain of feeling like a pawn in a pre-decided game. My heart   is not a playground, it’s not timid, tame. It’s not a picture you can put…

Greek Sundays

Imagine spending an evening by the sea, eating fresh fish, accompanied by a delicious Greek salad, with fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, feta and green peppers. Imagine the weather being pleasantly warm, occasionally bordering on scorching hot, but you don’t mind, because you’re by the sea and the breeze makes the sun friendlier, nicer and milder. That’s…

Clash #2, part 2

Dating in London had its own little rules and regulations; its limitations and unspoken boundaries. One has to be a fully formed human being, responsible, with their own money, their own travelcard, their own quirky habits and cool hobbies. There is a constant pressure to prove your worth, that you’re interesting, challenging, a one-of-a-kind successful…

Clash #2 (part 1)

She sat at the table at the Argentinian restaurant just by the river, in Kingston. She had a late-night pizza in Pizza Express in Surbiton, right by the station, slightly annoyed that they took 45 minutes to serve it. She felt the same annoyance at the Mexican restaurant in Leicester Square, where she and her…

Clash

‘ “You don’t have to leave, you know. It’s all down to you, a choice you make, and I flat-out tell you it’s wrong. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s my side of the story.” He was putting on his jeans as he said that. In typical British manner, he tried…